A New Place
12/28/05
To present a different face to the world, to better access those shadow selves, here's a place to be mindful of how others might see you and how one might choose to present oneself in a chosen reality.
On NPR today, a story about tatoos and scarring as parts of rites of passage. Reading about Mythology and the role of these physical experiences makes me wonder if we don't still needs those exercizes as we travel through life stages. The idea of pain and "let petits morts" that we must (must we?) experience to give birth to new life is slightly anathema to my perception of being an American these days, where I see a desire to just pick and choose from a perceived smorgasbord of pleasures, experiences, partners, materials. Yes, out of death comes life, but what do you choose to kill off in the quest for a better fit in the world?
We are encouraged to stick with the word "I" in this nation. But in so doing, how much harm is done? Can we remember to see ourselves as others do in our daily interactions. At a recent wedding, the priest encouraged us to look at the classic Western Vows: "I take you as my husband/wife." But in Spanish they say, "Me entrego a ti," I link myself to you. Could we not say: "I walk side by side with you"?
Another commentator's admonition that we should lie less in reference to many leaders made me consider the role of dissembling on a personal level. Don't we all lie to ourselves every day, just to get out of the house? Do we hold our leaders to higher standards than ourselves? Aren't we lying when we complain about our corrupt culture but continue to buy, literally and figuratively, into it? Do we really take the time to understand the complexities of the issues we rant about? If you're not willing to the full price for a tomatoe picked by a minimum wage worker, then aren't you lying when you say you're against illegal immigration? When you say you love your spouse but are never emotionally present for them, isn't that a lie as well? When someone feels rage burbling up and decides to stuff it back down with a half quart of vanilla ice cream, isn't that denial of a feeling a lie to one's self as well? Which lies are more costly? Those of a corporate thief whose malfeasance costs thousands their pension funds or the patriarch of a family whose tyranny sculpts generations of dysfunctional families? Mine or yours? Who knows? "The shadow does."
To present a different face to the world, to better access those shadow selves, here's a place to be mindful of how others might see you and how one might choose to present oneself in a chosen reality.
On NPR today, a story about tatoos and scarring as parts of rites of passage. Reading about Mythology and the role of these physical experiences makes me wonder if we don't still needs those exercizes as we travel through life stages. The idea of pain and "let petits morts" that we must (must we?) experience to give birth to new life is slightly anathema to my perception of being an American these days, where I see a desire to just pick and choose from a perceived smorgasbord of pleasures, experiences, partners, materials. Yes, out of death comes life, but what do you choose to kill off in the quest for a better fit in the world?
We are encouraged to stick with the word "I" in this nation. But in so doing, how much harm is done? Can we remember to see ourselves as others do in our daily interactions. At a recent wedding, the priest encouraged us to look at the classic Western Vows: "I take you as my husband/wife." But in Spanish they say, "Me entrego a ti," I link myself to you. Could we not say: "I walk side by side with you"?
Another commentator's admonition that we should lie less in reference to many leaders made me consider the role of dissembling on a personal level. Don't we all lie to ourselves every day, just to get out of the house? Do we hold our leaders to higher standards than ourselves? Aren't we lying when we complain about our corrupt culture but continue to buy, literally and figuratively, into it? Do we really take the time to understand the complexities of the issues we rant about? If you're not willing to the full price for a tomatoe picked by a minimum wage worker, then aren't you lying when you say you're against illegal immigration? When you say you love your spouse but are never emotionally present for them, isn't that a lie as well? When someone feels rage burbling up and decides to stuff it back down with a half quart of vanilla ice cream, isn't that denial of a feeling a lie to one's self as well? Which lies are more costly? Those of a corporate thief whose malfeasance costs thousands their pension funds or the patriarch of a family whose tyranny sculpts generations of dysfunctional families? Mine or yours? Who knows? "The shadow does."
posted by Barbery at 1:07 PM
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