Al, Agape & Albee
3.1.07
I did something I've never done before this Sunday. I willingly went to church. I haven't had the intention of finding religion or praying or worshipping in any particular way, although many years ago I felt the need for some spirituatl guidance, but chose rather to lie out one night under the vast Virginia sky on the eve of the Harmonic Convergence and swore I heard a voice telling me what to do from the firmament. But I was desparate for a sign back then, and would have stepped on a porcupine and interpreted it as a message to tread more lightly in life. This recent invitation to attend Agape (which means unconditional love) came from a mother I know from school, or rather her co-worker who mentioned that she was a member during a financial management pitch she was giving Michael and me. It was an aside but happened to come on the heels of me reading about The Secret (or the Law of Attraction) and feeling open to whatever the universe and collective unconscious has put in my in-box. So I went and weathered the crowds at this now fashionable non-denominational church since Oprah had interviewed Reverend Michael Beckwith on her show about the new movement. Many young, vibrant, smiling faces, culturally and ethinically mixed gathered in a huge corporate park's meeting hall for a fairly traditional kind of service with a choir, ushers, collection baskets and charismatic preacher. His sermon begs us to be true to oursleves, to not live in boxes of what others expect of us, to listen to our hearts and go forth with open arms and receive. It was warm and I felt I had found a place of kindred souls.
Then Al Gore wins an Oscar for best documentary and suddenly the Right is on his case for using more electricty and fossil fuels to rail against global warming and I am confused. Why are they raining on his parade here, especially after our administration has finally, grudgingly admited that he is actually correct in his concerns about our impact on the environment, a cause he has championed for consistently all of his life. Could it be that he is being feted at a moment when our cronies in DC are being seriously challenged for all of their mistakes and wrong-minded policies in Iraq and elsehwhere? At a time when Iran in rattling nuclear intent and Korea it's own plutonium sabers? Seems that it's much easier to attack someone else for their successes than accept one's own failures.
Last night we saw Edward Albee's "Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?" and I was again struck by the message of how dangerous self-revelation can be and how much easier and fun it is to put down our loved ones rather than look inside and speak our own truths. This couple lives a life of lies: Martha's disappointment and disillusionment with George's lack of ambition and inability to fulfill her desire for his professional path to validate her existance is a mask for her own deep despair at never having a child. George's blythely playing along with her harping so that he can avoid looking at his inability to write his great novel. Their invited guests for the evening's alcoholic romp and psychological rape, force their hosts to reveal and acknowledge their absolute need and devotion to each other, under the boozing and brilliant banter.
The need for unconditional love drives us to distraction and destruction. Our fear of abandoment makes us lash out and put down, deny and de-rail. Politics, Art & Religion. All mechanisms by which we try to answer this basic human need we have to control our environments, whether physical, personal or psychological so we can feel safe. And when the other (the state or the spouse) does not answer that need, we ask questions. We manipulate. We machinate. We try to re-shuffle the pieces and make it work. But what we need to do is look within and do interior repairs. We spend billions around the world ostensibly trying to make the world economically or strategically safe, while ignoring our own blights and poverties. Our arrogant altruisms are so thinly veiled it really takes a Borat to wake us up. And then of course we have to slap him with lawsuits because we don't like what he shows us. We have to call Gore a hypocrite because he happens to be right. We go to church to have someone else give us permission to be whoever we are meant to be.
My first "class" at work graduated this week and shared their successes after 6 months at looking at their lives and how they managed to don hundreds of pounds over the years. I don't know how many will carry and use these insights long enough after their surgically induced weight loss to find a new equilibrium with their new selves. The statistics are not too good 4-5 years out. We are so hard-wired to stay with what we are accustomed to. So even with new bodies, their minds may not be changed. I can only hope that somewhere along the way they wake up to a mirror which reflects back their truths. And that they can go out in the world and be met and loved for who they really are. For if we truly know, love and accept ourselves then we are not clawing down others to gain higher ground. We can cultivate our gardens, wherever they lie, on mountain tops, in verdant valleys or fallow fields. We can make mulch, not war.
I did something I've never done before this Sunday. I willingly went to church. I haven't had the intention of finding religion or praying or worshipping in any particular way, although many years ago I felt the need for some spirituatl guidance, but chose rather to lie out one night under the vast Virginia sky on the eve of the Harmonic Convergence and swore I heard a voice telling me what to do from the firmament. But I was desparate for a sign back then, and would have stepped on a porcupine and interpreted it as a message to tread more lightly in life. This recent invitation to attend Agape (which means unconditional love) came from a mother I know from school, or rather her co-worker who mentioned that she was a member during a financial management pitch she was giving Michael and me. It was an aside but happened to come on the heels of me reading about The Secret (or the Law of Attraction) and feeling open to whatever the universe and collective unconscious has put in my in-box. So I went and weathered the crowds at this now fashionable non-denominational church since Oprah had interviewed Reverend Michael Beckwith on her show about the new movement. Many young, vibrant, smiling faces, culturally and ethinically mixed gathered in a huge corporate park's meeting hall for a fairly traditional kind of service with a choir, ushers, collection baskets and charismatic preacher. His sermon begs us to be true to oursleves, to not live in boxes of what others expect of us, to listen to our hearts and go forth with open arms and receive. It was warm and I felt I had found a place of kindred souls.
Then Al Gore wins an Oscar for best documentary and suddenly the Right is on his case for using more electricty and fossil fuels to rail against global warming and I am confused. Why are they raining on his parade here, especially after our administration has finally, grudgingly admited that he is actually correct in his concerns about our impact on the environment, a cause he has championed for consistently all of his life. Could it be that he is being feted at a moment when our cronies in DC are being seriously challenged for all of their mistakes and wrong-minded policies in Iraq and elsehwhere? At a time when Iran in rattling nuclear intent and Korea it's own plutonium sabers? Seems that it's much easier to attack someone else for their successes than accept one's own failures.
Last night we saw Edward Albee's "Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?" and I was again struck by the message of how dangerous self-revelation can be and how much easier and fun it is to put down our loved ones rather than look inside and speak our own truths. This couple lives a life of lies: Martha's disappointment and disillusionment with George's lack of ambition and inability to fulfill her desire for his professional path to validate her existance is a mask for her own deep despair at never having a child. George's blythely playing along with her harping so that he can avoid looking at his inability to write his great novel. Their invited guests for the evening's alcoholic romp and psychological rape, force their hosts to reveal and acknowledge their absolute need and devotion to each other, under the boozing and brilliant banter.
The need for unconditional love drives us to distraction and destruction. Our fear of abandoment makes us lash out and put down, deny and de-rail. Politics, Art & Religion. All mechanisms by which we try to answer this basic human need we have to control our environments, whether physical, personal or psychological so we can feel safe. And when the other (the state or the spouse) does not answer that need, we ask questions. We manipulate. We machinate. We try to re-shuffle the pieces and make it work. But what we need to do is look within and do interior repairs. We spend billions around the world ostensibly trying to make the world economically or strategically safe, while ignoring our own blights and poverties. Our arrogant altruisms are so thinly veiled it really takes a Borat to wake us up. And then of course we have to slap him with lawsuits because we don't like what he shows us. We have to call Gore a hypocrite because he happens to be right. We go to church to have someone else give us permission to be whoever we are meant to be.
My first "class" at work graduated this week and shared their successes after 6 months at looking at their lives and how they managed to don hundreds of pounds over the years. I don't know how many will carry and use these insights long enough after their surgically induced weight loss to find a new equilibrium with their new selves. The statistics are not too good 4-5 years out. We are so hard-wired to stay with what we are accustomed to. So even with new bodies, their minds may not be changed. I can only hope that somewhere along the way they wake up to a mirror which reflects back their truths. And that they can go out in the world and be met and loved for who they really are. For if we truly know, love and accept ourselves then we are not clawing down others to gain higher ground. We can cultivate our gardens, wherever they lie, on mountain tops, in verdant valleys or fallow fields. We can make mulch, not war.
posted by Barbery at 9:35 PM
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