Group
3.30.06
It's amazing to me what a bunch of total female strangers will reveal to each other. In a dance hall kind of room at the El Segundo Women's Club, 9 of us meet to participate in a group therapy called the Plan. Designed to help re-wire the brain which is stuck in self-destructive patterns, it's a cognitive behaviour program that lasts 18 months (oh God, can I stand it?) and consists of group meetings and "community connections" where members check in with each other 3 times a week by phone. I learned about it at a Mind Body symposium hosted by Kaiser Permanente, that insurance behemoth that likes to withold life saving medicin/therapy/surgery whenever it can, but promote good health to its HMO members so they never need their services. Studies prove that this "brain washing" actually works lowering Blood Pressure, Blood Sugar, weight, Depression and increases exercise among participants, even 6 years out. I was impressed and thought I'd like to learn this technique to use with my chronic disease clients.
So you have to buy all sorts of books, CD's, recite mantras, "check in with the pulse of your life" and I'm sniffing Anthony Robbins, pyramid schemes, but I'm open since the developer has good credentials and it does make intuitive sense. Plus, you can make good money as one of these "Solution PRoviders" which is always welcome. But there's something that just doesn't sit right with me about all this scripted stuff, and it's all rather treacly and feel good-y and I'm feeling my cynical New Yawkah rise to the fore as I read all this stuff. I'm certainly not used to all this honest talk about emotions; I'd rather think my way through life and fantasize about a better way of being when things don't go as planned. Dancing in Andalucia is always a good one.
But there we are, in a circle of 9 chairs plus the leader and we're all so sincere and open and honest adn I've completely let down my guard, requiring the fist pass of the tissue box that I surprise myself. Wow, that was easy. We all share our "issues" and what we hope to gain from the experience, mostly living a more authentic passionate life and I am especially impressed by the woman who has gotten involved in book-binding. It reminds me how we really all crave more creatively, getting our hands into life. Some of us write, some dance, we all "people-please and take care of others" and all want to change something. The leader then tells us about how the program works, which includes taking out "emotional trash" and here I really resist. She asks us to imagine our deepest darkest problems as the dirtiest, worst trash, like rotten eggs, coffee grounds, old food and my first reaction is "fertilizer!" This stuff can be good stuff. Yes we all have the dark side, but a life without it would be incredibly unbalanced. I want to say something, to challenge this lovely "safe" place we're trying to maintain, but I can tell it's not time.
We then busy around sharing phone numbers and I'm a bit leary of having to devote 3 more hours a week to this system, but suspect it'll be good to learn to connect more honestly. Problem is, we're supposed to give each other "Tender morsels" and "Loving sandwiches" and all this really, nice supportive, nurturing language and I think, um, can't we ever call each other on our bull shit? Do we not get to challenge our masks, our self deceptions, our manipulations? Do we just keep holding each other's hands even when they're walking in the wron gdirection?
But this is what women do, we take care of each other and provide safe places to mend our wounds, whether it's around the water hole, the campfire, the zocolo, the wishing well, the water cooler. We offer succor and companionship, whether virtually or by cell. It all seems to go back to "can you hear me now?" that great phone company ad. Our stories must be told. I will try to listen.
It's amazing to me what a bunch of total female strangers will reveal to each other. In a dance hall kind of room at the El Segundo Women's Club, 9 of us meet to participate in a group therapy called the Plan. Designed to help re-wire the brain which is stuck in self-destructive patterns, it's a cognitive behaviour program that lasts 18 months (oh God, can I stand it?) and consists of group meetings and "community connections" where members check in with each other 3 times a week by phone. I learned about it at a Mind Body symposium hosted by Kaiser Permanente, that insurance behemoth that likes to withold life saving medicin/therapy/surgery whenever it can, but promote good health to its HMO members so they never need their services. Studies prove that this "brain washing" actually works lowering Blood Pressure, Blood Sugar, weight, Depression and increases exercise among participants, even 6 years out. I was impressed and thought I'd like to learn this technique to use with my chronic disease clients.
So you have to buy all sorts of books, CD's, recite mantras, "check in with the pulse of your life" and I'm sniffing Anthony Robbins, pyramid schemes, but I'm open since the developer has good credentials and it does make intuitive sense. Plus, you can make good money as one of these "Solution PRoviders" which is always welcome. But there's something that just doesn't sit right with me about all this scripted stuff, and it's all rather treacly and feel good-y and I'm feeling my cynical New Yawkah rise to the fore as I read all this stuff. I'm certainly not used to all this honest talk about emotions; I'd rather think my way through life and fantasize about a better way of being when things don't go as planned. Dancing in Andalucia is always a good one.
But there we are, in a circle of 9 chairs plus the leader and we're all so sincere and open and honest adn I've completely let down my guard, requiring the fist pass of the tissue box that I surprise myself. Wow, that was easy. We all share our "issues" and what we hope to gain from the experience, mostly living a more authentic passionate life and I am especially impressed by the woman who has gotten involved in book-binding. It reminds me how we really all crave more creatively, getting our hands into life. Some of us write, some dance, we all "people-please and take care of others" and all want to change something. The leader then tells us about how the program works, which includes taking out "emotional trash" and here I really resist. She asks us to imagine our deepest darkest problems as the dirtiest, worst trash, like rotten eggs, coffee grounds, old food and my first reaction is "fertilizer!" This stuff can be good stuff. Yes we all have the dark side, but a life without it would be incredibly unbalanced. I want to say something, to challenge this lovely "safe" place we're trying to maintain, but I can tell it's not time.
We then busy around sharing phone numbers and I'm a bit leary of having to devote 3 more hours a week to this system, but suspect it'll be good to learn to connect more honestly. Problem is, we're supposed to give each other "Tender morsels" and "Loving sandwiches" and all this really, nice supportive, nurturing language and I think, um, can't we ever call each other on our bull shit? Do we not get to challenge our masks, our self deceptions, our manipulations? Do we just keep holding each other's hands even when they're walking in the wron gdirection?
But this is what women do, we take care of each other and provide safe places to mend our wounds, whether it's around the water hole, the campfire, the zocolo, the wishing well, the water cooler. We offer succor and companionship, whether virtually or by cell. It all seems to go back to "can you hear me now?" that great phone company ad. Our stories must be told. I will try to listen.
posted by Barbery at 6:04 PM
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