Projections

12.28.06

In his pop culture titled book "Finding Meaning in the Second Half of Life," James Hollis opines that most of our anxiety and depression is generated by our projections, which arise "from a neglected dynanmic value within us: usually it is essentially unconscious, but has a certain energy, which, when we have not attended it consciously, escapes repression and enters the world as a hope, a project, an agenda, a fantasy, or a renewal of expectation." He goes on to suggest that, "Being accountable for the content and issues embodied in our eroded projections is probably the chief service we can bring to our jobs, our partners, our children...This principle of cleaning up our own backyard can as much apply to the conflicts between faiths, between nations, between social systems as it does to those between individuals....How many wars are generated by the power of what we will not face in ourselves? And who among us is strong enough, or ethical enough to say that we are our own problems?"

As I read about new settlements proposed for the West Bank again (in exchange for dismantling the illegal one, jeez when will this ever stop?), Iran's continued in-roads to Iraq, our own incursions into Afghanistan and elsewhere, massacres around the world I think about what social issues are not being addressed by our leaders rummaging around in others' back yards. Vietnam and Iraq seem good examples of our need to muck up other people's belief systems in order to justify our own. John Updike, in his latest book The Terrorist, features an Imam who cultivates a young Muslim convert to Jihadist truck driver. Updike editorializes in this novel that what the extreme fundamentalists of Islam hate about America the most is that we have stolen their god, meaning, I believe, that our values, our commodoties have become so ubiquitous and seductive that even the most devout of their flock desire our satellite dishes, our Baywatch, our freedoms, even while decrying them. The teenager recruited to blow up the Lincoln Tunnel struggles with this conflicting desire for normalcy a la Animal House and a higher sense of godly purpose and chooses to join the Jihad when humiliated by his American peer group. Only at teh last moment does he allow his compassion for a couple of children in a car driving along side his truck open his heart enough to release his finger from the trigger. One potential crusader for Allah lets go for a split moment of an agenda and retrieves his own belief system long enough to divert disaster.

So, as we run around the world, waging wars, securing access to resources, mandating various "human rights" requirements on our aid or development packages, pontificating about our freedoms and denying global warming, I wonder what we're really not talking about. How about poverty rates in some states that rival developing countries? Sexual abuse of children and child pornography? Obesity rates claiming close to 60% of our adult population? Poisoned water, polluted air, rampant environmental abuse, depression, road rage, alienation of our species being?

In self-help books we are advised to look within and not without, when feeling malaise. But isn't it so much easier to blame the spouse, the job, the house, the malfunctioning elipitical trainer than our own weaknesses and unaddressed shadows? We may praise Hussein's death sentance, but didn't we not too long ago support him? We decry voting violations in Nigeria but what about our own black population who found polling places mysteriously closed on election day? It's much more fun to point fingers than look in a mirror and our Jerry Springers make celebrities of those of us who are willing to wave our dirty panties for all to gawk at.

I listen to Radio Nueva Vida, an evangelical Christian station in spanish (for practice, not inspiration) and am constantly reminded that if we believe in Jesus, if we put our faith in the Lord all of our prayers will be answered. Is this some form of biblical psychotherapy? Can Jesus, God, the Lord, really be that energy in ourselves that we need to acknowledge and polish like a bronze bowl, preparing for teh sustenance we must go out and seek daily? I was not raised with religion, but the more I read about psychology, astrology, religion and introspection the more I believe that what we are continually seeking is the answer within, not without. Something goes amok, however, in our socialization process, at least in this culture with which I am most familar. We stress conformity, co-dependence and coddling. If this is a result of a market economy, those qualities serve us well to keep Costco (saw my first one today) busy and the stock market robust. But if these reflexes are innate human characteristics, or most likely to emerge when basic needs are met, then is there really any hope for us to break out of our ticky-tacky houses, look at our back yards and honestly asses the weeds, the bare patches, the hopeful sprouts of new growth, the dying flowers? When so many of us are trapped (some say that 50% of us qualify as depressed or anxious) in these pre-fab houses, denying our "neglected dynamic values" is it any wonder we spend so much on our military distractions?

As I face my own projections, hang them on the clothes line in my back yard to dry, can I do my own mending, my own tailoring, my own alterations or do I hire a tailor, visit the dye factory or maybe just throw out the whole mess and buy a new wardrobe? Shall I blame the seamstress, the weaver, the salesperson, the packaging, the pricetag for the ill-fit? Or dare I let the wind sweep away the wrinkles, unloose the clothespins and carry away the old vetements, revealing flesh to the sun with all its imperfections and mutable possibilities?