self immolation
2/1/2006
At work yesterday one of the med students reported on a woman who had self-immolated because her husband had had an affair. She was completely burned over 75% of her body. The Medical assistants were appalled, could not understand how/why anyone would punish themselves for a sin committed by another and we got talking about the different roles of women around the world. These sassy Latina ladies wouldn't stand for an affair by their men, much less set a single hair on their head on fire. With scissor slashing fingers they articulated exactly what they would do to their husbands wandering dicks. And I got to thinking about all the cultures that still repress women and what incredible power we wield when men have to cover us with chadors and limit our movements in teh world. Yet, when women gain equal status with men, either economically, socially, sexually (and these usually come hand in hand) are we any more respected for our inherent worth? When the 17 year old stick thin, (yet basketball boobed) female ideal is paraded about as the highest goal in physical attractiveness, what sort of de-feminization is that proposing? Toothpicks walking along Melrose avenue gazing at all sorts of "put it here" thong underwear and glue tight jeans have lost their womanly allure when compared to the women in "Kandahar" swirling in their rainbow colored Bhurkas across the desert. Under those undulated sheets of fabric, we know there are curves, and thighs and breasts with skin and flesh, even though we can't see it. The toothpicks bare all, yet there's nothing there except rubber band taught skin, sinew tendons holding muscles to bones topped by a bushel of bleached, tossed hair. In countries where women are punished or who punish themselves when their men err, their all too sensual flesh must pay the price, as if the entire tribe of woman kind is at fault when a single one lures a married man away. And in a way, we are. As descendents from one, the first earth mother, woman-sister-daughter, each of us has the power to create and to destroy and in that omnipotence we share a bond. So when one snares another's man away, it's as if another has lost a piece of her power. But one culture will turn blame inward and another outward.
I burned myself the other night with hot olive oil, thinking a prohibited thought and was reminded of the many uses that vegetable ungament can serve. Was it God's warning not to think about proscribed activities? The new skin is crusting over now and this patch will serve as a reminder of how our sensuality and need for that kind of connecting with another human being can lead us on unknown paths. That poor woman, should she survive her self induced barbecue, will be forever made to think, when she looks at herself, of the power of skin, its temptations, its naked invitation to feel lust and exquisite pain, desire and shame. Even though those sentiments were not her own, by punishing herself for her husbands indulgence, she acknowledges our universal woman bond.
3/1/08 addendum: Someone suggested that this woman's act might have been more to punish teh husband, for the world now will, in looking at her, know what he did. What a horrible way to seek retribution, by branding oneself to shame another. How sad that she sacrificed her own right to feel, to relish touch, just to punish someone else who indulged his own need to do so. If anything, seh should have set him on fire. But I didn't say that.
At work yesterday one of the med students reported on a woman who had self-immolated because her husband had had an affair. She was completely burned over 75% of her body. The Medical assistants were appalled, could not understand how/why anyone would punish themselves for a sin committed by another and we got talking about the different roles of women around the world. These sassy Latina ladies wouldn't stand for an affair by their men, much less set a single hair on their head on fire. With scissor slashing fingers they articulated exactly what they would do to their husbands wandering dicks. And I got to thinking about all the cultures that still repress women and what incredible power we wield when men have to cover us with chadors and limit our movements in teh world. Yet, when women gain equal status with men, either economically, socially, sexually (and these usually come hand in hand) are we any more respected for our inherent worth? When the 17 year old stick thin, (yet basketball boobed) female ideal is paraded about as the highest goal in physical attractiveness, what sort of de-feminization is that proposing? Toothpicks walking along Melrose avenue gazing at all sorts of "put it here" thong underwear and glue tight jeans have lost their womanly allure when compared to the women in "Kandahar" swirling in their rainbow colored Bhurkas across the desert. Under those undulated sheets of fabric, we know there are curves, and thighs and breasts with skin and flesh, even though we can't see it. The toothpicks bare all, yet there's nothing there except rubber band taught skin, sinew tendons holding muscles to bones topped by a bushel of bleached, tossed hair. In countries where women are punished or who punish themselves when their men err, their all too sensual flesh must pay the price, as if the entire tribe of woman kind is at fault when a single one lures a married man away. And in a way, we are. As descendents from one, the first earth mother, woman-sister-daughter, each of us has the power to create and to destroy and in that omnipotence we share a bond. So when one snares another's man away, it's as if another has lost a piece of her power. But one culture will turn blame inward and another outward.
I burned myself the other night with hot olive oil, thinking a prohibited thought and was reminded of the many uses that vegetable ungament can serve. Was it God's warning not to think about proscribed activities? The new skin is crusting over now and this patch will serve as a reminder of how our sensuality and need for that kind of connecting with another human being can lead us on unknown paths. That poor woman, should she survive her self induced barbecue, will be forever made to think, when she looks at herself, of the power of skin, its temptations, its naked invitation to feel lust and exquisite pain, desire and shame. Even though those sentiments were not her own, by punishing herself for her husbands indulgence, she acknowledges our universal woman bond.
3/1/08 addendum: Someone suggested that this woman's act might have been more to punish teh husband, for the world now will, in looking at her, know what he did. What a horrible way to seek retribution, by branding oneself to shame another. How sad that she sacrificed her own right to feel, to relish touch, just to punish someone else who indulged his own need to do so. If anything, seh should have set him on fire. But I didn't say that.
posted by Barbery at 2:49 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home