Intersections

On the way to our Sunset Junction street festival performance, at the intersection of 2 major streets in LA, the guitarist, dear Charlie, and I were discussing the problem with marriage these days, which in his opinion has to do with 2 things: 1.) the lack of romance and 2.) Velocity. The former makes sense; sometimes couples, over time, forget to hold hands, look each other in the eye and really stay in the moment with each other. The latter refers to a sociological term he had heard of which describes the fact that in this era we are rushing around so much and are exposed to so many different people. I'll read more about it, but it got me to thinking that, yes, the availablity of experiences, material goods and new relationships grows all the time along with a societal maw that never seems to get filled.

The reason I'm dancing now is because 16 years ago a rolfer recommended that I take up flamenco, which I did. Today, I got to perform and enjoy this amazing art form which has opened a different world to my imagination. Last year, I had a moment in time, while watching a performance that triggerd a huge transformation. I wouldn't be here today, sharing this passion with my friends and family and the faces in the audience had it not been for the confluence of events that took me to that rolfer so long ago. Six degrees of seperation and all that. ANd I would never have the dream of moving to Spain or Mexico to immerse myself in another life had I not met this woman so many years ago, who figuratively and literally got under my skin.

So Charlie, who at 71, remembers the free lovin' days of the 60's and I got to reminiscing about our youth and pondering today's youth and how we all have so many choices, or at least the perception of choice, made even broader with Match.com, MySpace, YouTube etc. This coupled with a media which offers ever escalating promises of pleasure along with purchase maybe makes us never content with what we already have. Now I think of the word "purchase" which also means a hold on something and the word "content" which also means that which is inside. What are we trying to hold onto inside of us when we look outward to other people and other things for whatever's missing inside?

We are a nation founded on the individual's pursuit of happiness. Yet that definition seems to change all the time. Once we have our basic human needs met, then we want the next thing out there. Which brings up the issue of hope, desire, dreams. When we get a taste of something that we like and want more, whether it be a food, an idea, an experience, a person, an adventure, some of us decide to run with that new interest while others simply put it away as something forbidden or unavailable or impossible. Some cultures, such as our allow more freedom in that individual pursuit, while others proscribe any and everything outside of the narrow norm. Which is "happier?" Is ignorance truly bliss?

Before telephones and motorized vehicles, one couldn't venture too far from home, taste too many new things, meet too many new people without a huge effort. Nowadays, it's as easy as going to the mall, flying to another country, logging onto a website. Anything seems possible. And the messages continue to tell us that we should want more, different, new and right now! So we meet people from different walks of life who influence us in major and minor ways (ife we let them); we think to ourselves, hmm, I could try that, or be this way or go there. We pass by the big store window of life and wonder, wouldn't that feel, taste, smell, sound good? And then we go home to what we have and we look at what's there and say, is it enough, is it right for me now in this time in place.

We re-invent ourselves every day, every time we meet someone new, every time we go someplace different, every time we experience the strange or bizarre. Or do we? Is there a core that never changes, only masks we use on demand? Is it at the intersections at life that we get to test ourselves, when major choices must be made? How does one trust a decision made in one circumstance, knowing that circumstances change all the time? Where do we find our true selves when we come across so many people who need/want different parts of our multi-faceted natures? If we don't face our shadows consciously, will they eventually find the light of day anyway? Will I ever shut up and stop asking so many questions?

No. I'll greet the next meeting of minds, confluence of events, planetary alignments and electrical charges that make up the maps of our lives with a smile and see who stands there, hands on her hips, facing the sun.