Saturday, September 23, 2006

More


9.23.06

More. A word connoting "additional." Pronounced differently it also means, a norm, or cultural expectation, a shared value of a group. I've been thinking of the idea of "more" as in desiring more than what one already has. When a child wants more toys or an adult wants more money or an elder seeks more enlightment. Do we ever stop wanting more? In working with morbidly obese people whose appetites seem never quenched I wonder what is the more that they want? After a certain volume of food, it can't be more taste or more fullness they want. Is it more numbness, more sensations that they don't get other than through their mouths, more distance from people as they put food first, more distraction from their woes and anxieties? As this culture seeks more hegemony is it merely economic power, control over scare resources, psychological control we seek? When do humans become satisfied? We have spent eternity, our entire evolution seeking more territory, more food, more water, more security, more access. Once one's food, shelter, social needs, psychological peace are attained why do we keep seeking more? Is this just the nature of our ever adaptive brains that once sated, seek another experience or sensation out of curiosity or simple boredome?

I have fallen prey to this idea of more. My beautiful new MAC gives me more style, more ease of computing, more flexibility and portability. My new phone gives me the options, should I choose to use them, to communicate via video, photos, text messaging, V-casts. My car gives me access to more places, my credit card more "stuff" and my language abilities more cultures to access. My intellectual interests propel me to study more, read more, reach out more for new ideas. My aging body craves more sensations, more physical outlets and my emotional appetite demands more connections.

I sit in my backyard and delight in this fall day with a moment of peace. I listen to the wind rustling the leaves of a neighbor's tree and watch as afternoon light changes, less brilliant than summer, but brighter than coming winter's shadows. If I stay long enough in this moment, my desires diminish. Is it as simple as this? Learning how to experience life as it happens without thinking ahead? Shutting out the memories of past times or wishing ahead for new ones? Is multi-tasking really such a good idea?

How much can we take in and sit with and truly enjoy before we're on to the next new thing? There are the seasons of the year and the seasons of one's life, the shifts of reality as we step in and out of our imaginations and our concrete lives. How to bridge the two and honor both, to live all of ourselves and truly breathe.

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